Olivia's Birth Story

Thursday, Sept 1st, 2011

• 6:45am: labor began faintly as my husband got ready and left for work
• 10:30am: my friend Laura arrived to watch Autumn as contractions became too difficult to talk during
• 11am: my husband was home from work and began helping me cope with contractions. We laughed in the 4.5 min breaks between, as we were thrilled with the comfort and peaceful environment of our home to labor in.
• 1:30pm: my midwives Thalia and Jeri arrived to check my dilation. I was only 2cm, but this was encouraging as labor had to this point been very manageable.  Also, after laboring 4.5 hrs with my first baby I was only at 1.5cm and the contractions seemed way more painful.
• 5:30pm: I was found to be at 4cm (finally, in "active" labor). 
• 9pm: found to be at 7cm, friends Melissa, Lori and Jenny were called around this time to come assist.  Jenny manned the camera, Lori took over mostly with Autumn, and Laura and Melissa provided massages, encouragement and cold washcloths for my head.  All these friends swapped duties and aided beautifully in my labor. What would I have done without one of them?  Around this time contractions started to double-up and triple-up, making it very difficult to manage the pain and breathe through it.  I had a few moments of hyperventilation, but with the help of my husband and our assistants and midwives I stayed hydrated, mostly fed, calm and oxygenated.  We prayed for a break when contractions got long, and each time the Lord was merciful.  He was my sweetest and greatest labor assistant.

Friday, September 2nd, 2011

• midnight: I was found to be at 8.5cm with a bulging bag of waters that simply didn't want to break.  I was falling asleep between contractions at this point, and couldn't keep my eyes from crossing when trying to focus on someone's face while they talked to me.  At this point, when my dear friends tried to encourage me that it was "almost over," I reminded them that they'd said that hours ago.  :)  I had the thought (I believe it was the Holy Spirit) that I should ask the midwives to break my water because I might not otherwise have strength to push when it came time.

• 2am: my midwife Thalia explained to me the risks and what to expect should she break my water. I agreed and asked her and Jeri to proceed.
• 2:30am: I was finally found to be fully dilated, but when I pushed I had extreme pain like a charlie horse in either groin muscle that intensified with each push and shot pain down my thighs.  I suspect it was the giant baby stretching my pelvis apart, but at this point we still expected a little baby like our first had been, so the pain confused me.  I began to ask over and over if anyone could see the head, wondering if I was making progress.  
• 3am: Jeri coached me to push effectively, and with her help and several contractions, finally the baby crowned at minutes to 4am.

At this point, I felt an unimaginable searing pain.  Thalia said it was called the "ring of fire," but instead of just pushing through it I was coached with great skill when to push a little, breathe and avoid pushing, then push a little more, then breathe again.  Because of the great care my midwives took at this point of labor, I didn't tear AT ALL.  

I assumed that "ring of fire" pain would go away once the head was out, but it stayed.  As Jason smiled at the sight of his newborn child's face, Jeri felt beneath the baby's chin and found a double-wrapped cord.  She was unable to slip it over the baby's 14 inch head, and it was too short to deliver the baby without the cord tightening.  So she had to clamp and cut it.  But the moment she did, everything changed.  Afterward I was told that at this point the baby's head began to sink back in and turned a dark purple color.  The baby's shoulders were caught behind my pelvic bones.  Jeri quickly began readying the oxygen and other emergency equipment as Thalia took charge.  She looked in my eyes and said, "Danielle, you HAVE to push this baby out NOW."  My friends told me her hands were swift and sure, and she knew exactly what to do.  In my mind I knew I must get the baby out, but I had no fear.  I remembered that God told us to have a home birth, that He gave us Thalia and Jeri and our attendants, and that He was sovereign and in control.  I pushed with all my might a few times, then Thalia instructed everyone to flip me.  A few friends and Jason picked me up and turned me over onto all fours on the bed as Thalia instructed me again to push with all my might.  While I gave my all in the next few pushes, Thalia reached in and pulled out the baby's arm, which dislodged one of the shoulders and allowed the baby's body to be born.  The time was 4:01am.

One of my friends said, "Danielle, turn around and look at your baby!"  I turned and saw what looked like a 3-month old infant, light purple and lifeless to the eye on the bed while Thalia's hands worked quickly on it.  Thalia said, "Liam's not a Liam!" and we realized that the boy we'd been expecting, had named and waited for was actually a girl!  The room's mood lightened immediately with laughter and joy, but Thalia quieted everyone and said "she needs to hear Mom and Dad's voice."  So we called her by name, "Olivia!"  Very slowly she opened her eyes and made a few small movements and gurgled cries.  It seemed like it took forever for her to pink up and gain her strength, but when she did she was STRONG!  She gazed into my eyes and her daddy's eyes, and reached out for his face.

It took over 30 minutes for me to deliver the placenta, and Thalia left the room to check it over and make sure it was complete.  When she returned she quieted the room and explained that there was an extra small placenta, almost a second lobe, that had become attached through blood vessels to the big one and helped feed our big 9lb 4oz baby.  She asked if I'd had any bleeding early on in my pregnancy, and yes I had while seeing the first midwife (in fact, I was quite sure for a time that I'd lost the baby, and even did an HCG blood test that came back high and soothed our fears).  She said she suspected that there had been a twin that hadn't survived.  It made me very sad at the moment, but I was far too thrilled with my strong, healthy baby girl surprise to let it sink in too deep.  After all, it was only speculation.
The next morning I remembered that I'd had a dream the Tuesday before that someone had found a second little tiny baby in my belly with the full-term one we were expecting.  I began to reflect on how God had led us first to a separate midwife, one whose sonographer commonly mistook the sexes of the babies, and only later to Thalia, whose sonographer has not yet mistaken the sex on a sonogram.  I saw the beauty in how the surprise that Olivia was a girl had lifted everyone's spirits when she was still lying limp and purple on the bed.  I began to feel that Olivia didn't replace Liam at all, but perhaps they were two separate babies.
As my mom helped me put all the baby boy clothes and shoes that we had been so sweetly given in a large storage container, I ached to hold Liam.  I later told Jason I missed him, and though I know it would have been incredibly difficult to have an almost 3 year old and two newborns, I wished we had both babies.  This week Jason picked up our friend's infant son to soothe his cries, and as he smiled at the little boy I fought back tears wishing he could hold his own son.  You can say it's all hormones or that I'm making a bit deal out of something we don't know for sure, but the fact is that we were expecting Liam.  We looked forward to seeing his face and touching his soft hair.  I don't know yet what I'm going to do with the gifts that were made by friends with his name on them or the loving notes my friends wrote to him, but I don't feel I can give them to Olivia or anyone else;  they're his.  I've had the thought that perhaps we should try to get pregnant again soon and maybe we'd have a boy.  But maybe we'd have a third daughter, so should we begin the process to adopt?
The fact is that God is sovereign.  He does not make mistakes, nor is He surprised by the happenings of the world.  He has plans for us and our children, and if I decide I must force my will then I'm conceding that I either do not know His grand nature or power, or that I do not trust Him.  And I do trust Him.  So I'll go where He leads, do my best with what/whom I am given, and continue to praise Him because He is worthy.