Mom's Visit

We had a great time, really enjoyed seeing Mom, and got generally nothing productive done.  Now it's back to the grind - cleaning puke out of the living room rug and off the dog, getting the house back in order, and deprogramming the little one.  I plan to post more often now.  Thanks for letting me take a Christmas break!

Ways to Make Staying Home a Reality

The day Autumn turned 6 weeks old, I had to return to work.  I hated every minute of it, cried every morning I peaked in her nursery before leaving, and tearfully prayed during every 10 minute morning commute that God would let me quit.  I know that not every woman dreams of being able to stay at home with their child, and I know many a mom who simply can't.  [By the way, I'd like to take this moment to commend the single mothers out there.  I have no idea how you do it, and you have my sincere respect.]  But there is a group of mothers who dream of being home with their children and have a working husband, but think they can't afford it.  This post is for them.  It may also be useful to others who are looking for a way to live less expensively, especially those who are unemployed (several points require an investment of time).

What can you cut out?
-cable TV (if you must have your shows, get a Wii on craigslist and a $9/mo Netflix membership, and you have almost all previous seasons as well as many documentaries and movies unlimited on your TV at your command, or use Redbox for $1/DVD)
-store-bought Christmas and birthday gifts (substitute with hand-made - everybody loves baked goods)
-processed foods (it's actually cheaper in many cases to make things from scratch)
-out of season produce
-exotic foods
-clothing that requires dry cleaning
-store-bought decor (go yard-saling or to second-hand stores for truly unique finds, or hold a decor swap with your friends for free stuff)
-the newest, most popular technology and entertainment (choose only what is necessary or truly worthwhile for your family, and choose thankfulness over the latest goods)
-coffee on the go (grind and brew your own at home - a French press makes the best, is inexpensive, and you can use the leftovers for iced coffee or blended treats)
-vacations to exotic destinations (it's who you're with, not where you can say you've gone)
-going to the movie theater (it can become a quarterly or annual treat)

What can you learn?
-sewing (you can make your own drapes, slipcovers, clothing, children's clothing, and gifts by using easy tutorials found for free online - you'd be surprised at what you could do, even without so-called "talent"!)
-couponing (there are many websites out there, as well as master couponers who hold classes on how to combine coupons with sales to get free or inexpensive food)
-target price shopping (becoming aware of the very lowest price, sometimes determined by season, that you can get a product, service or food for and never paying more than that price for it)
-use the internet to find the most reliable and best-priced items when you need them
-learn to cook, especially from scratch, and with lower-priced foods (eggs, in-season produce, beans)
-proper storage for produce to waste less
-negotiate hotel prices
-be smart about health insurance and going to the doctor. call ahead to find out cash-pay prices and shop for the lower priced providers
-use a drug card for discounts on prescriptions (they're free! just ask me about them)
-make your own bread, crackers, pancakes, cookies, and avoid mixes. the health benefits of avoiding processed foods means avoiding healthcare costs down the road.
-a craft. hand-made crafts and art can be sold online or at fairs
-find all the free local attractions and educational facilities to take your kids to
-gardening.  as long as you have 8 or more hours of direct sunlight on your porch or yard, you can have a raised bed garden or container garden that gives you way more vitamins and minerals in your produce than the grocery store can, and at a far lesser cost
-lawn care. drop the maintenance plan and call your local master gardener for pointers instead
-hair cutting. by learning to cut and color your own hair and your husband's, you can save a ton of money!

Other helpful habits:
-choose hair colors and cuts that don't require maintenance as often
-never buy toiletries from drug stores if you're not couponing
-carpool or consolidate to one vehicle (saves on insurance, as well as gas and maintenance)
-sell any furniture or electronics you don't use anymore
-keep your receipts from Goodwill to get a deduction on your taxes
-try to eat all you have in your pantry before getting more food
-shop based on what's on sale instead of what you feel like cooking
-eat out very rarely - it's really fun when it's a treat!
-develop a menu 3-5 basic recipes that you know by heart and include inexpensive ingredients, so you can always fall back on one of those in a pinch
-avoid showering children with gifts, especially those that leave little to the imagination. many kids are happy playing with a very plain, inexpensive toy as long as you're there to make believe with them.
-keep a budget and hold weekly financial meetings as a couple so you're both aware of your goals and limits

Of course, not everyone is able or willing to do all these things.  This is only a list meant to give you ideas for ways to cut costs.  Remember that when you aren't working, you don't have the gas, food or clothing expenses you used to, and when your household income goes down you may be taxed less.  So be intentional with every day.  If staying home with your child is your heart's desire, hopefully this post will encourage you to do a little math and see if perhaps you may be able to follow that dream.  I know it may look like I'm asking you to give up all the fun stuff, but remember that this is only a season.  Your household income likely won't be the same forever.  And anyway, laughing and playing with your family is a precious kind of fun ...one you may even grow to prefer.

Jealous Love

So I was just reading Jeremiah, and something came to me.

As Smee used to say in Hook, "Captain! I've just had an apostrophe!"  Hook says, "I think you mean an epiphany, Smee."  "No, no...lighting has just struck my brain!!"

Here I am, reading chapter 2, and seeing God tell Israel, his chosen people, that they've turned away from him.  That they've turned to dead, useless idols, and they've forsaken him after he loved them and chose them and led them to a land of plenty. 

I think, how often do I forget who gave me the gift of staying home with my kid, or who provided us with shelter, food and clothes, or who gave Jason his job? 

Then something came to mind that was said by an unbelieving friend once of the Bible:  "It's nothing but a bunch of religious junk that makes people hurt each other and start wars.  Just look at all the wars God told them to wage in the Bible! Look how violent he was!"

Now, I believe that pretty much every war waged in our modern age, whether in the name of God or no, has pretty much been man's idea.  So I don't see medieval slaughters as God's work.  Here in the Bible, though, we read that it's God who tells the Israelites to fight and kill.

But I realized, if my husband, my only husband and my true love, were to be in danger, I'd want him to fight for his life and his ability to love me.  And if my husband were to cheat on me, I'd get pretty angry and "wrathful" too. 

Isn't it all a jealous love story?  Isn't Israel all God wants here?  It doesn't seem violent or crazy at all to me. 

I know there are some "learned" Bible scholars who read this blog now and then.  What do you think?

[A Few] Christmas Card Outtakes

 Autumn's squirming out of Daddy's arms

Read the plaque.  Oh, the irony.

 Chasing Autumn around the waterfall.

 "I will NOT do what you want."

Maybe next year we'll give her a sedative first.  Or hire a photographer.  But we're really excited to finally be able to do the photo Christmas card; we were feeling left-out.  :)

Man Bibs and Fabric Birds

 I found this idea on the net, and decided it was one of the five things that are hand-made that can be enjoyed by men. 

 Here's one in action.  Of course, it'll look more proportionate on an adult.

 A set of three makes a great gift (I think).  I love how you could put this on with a nasty, stinky t-shirt and cargo shorts to eat ribs, or over your shirt and tie for Sunday lunch.  I think it would be hilarious to make coordinating ones for groomsmen to use at a wedding reception.

 For the wives of these men, I made plush bird ornaments.  I think they came out very pretty!  You could hang them in a window or perch them on a shelf for year-round decor.

 Here's Autumn "helping" set up the photo shoot.  She's now aware of what we're doing, and happy to help.  Or get in the way.  Or shove a bird in her mouth.

Three very special ladies will receive this set - made of the remnants of Autumn's second birthday quilt.  That way, these dear women who love Autumn so much can know that they and she are looking at the same fabric whenever they enjoy these.

Oh, and yay for really light stuff that's cheap to ship!!

Mac'n'Cheese Anti-Recipe

Don't try to tell me healthy eating can't be yummy!  I call this an "anti-recipe" because I'm not good at figuring out exact measurements and all that.  So I'm really sorry, friends-who-are-unable-to-fathom-winging-it.  But maybe if you tried it you'd be happily surprised! :)  Or you'd end up rocking in a corner and breathing into a paper bag.  I don't know.

 

 I put some water on to boil, and added half a box of elbow macaroni.  While that cooked (took 9 min.) I melted about 3 Tbsp of butter in a sauce pan and added about 2 Tbsp of flour.  I stirred it until it made a roux, then added maybe a cup of milk and continued stirring.  When that was totally smooth, I added a few pinches of nutmeg, a few turns of black pepper, and a pinch of garlic granules.  Then I grated some sharp cheddar cheese into the pan and shook some Parmesan in.  I stirred until it was all melty and smooth, then took a taste.  I added more cheese, then salted it until it tasted nice and salty.  You want it extra-salty (but not overboard) because wen you add it to the pasta it doesn't taste as salty.  Then I drained my pasta and added my sauce while stirring until it looked GOOOOD.  I think it took a total of 10 minutes to make, and it was way healthier than the packaged stuff.

 

 Autumn gives it two sticky thumbs up.

 

 She put away 2 bowls of it after eating her peas, eggs and a homemade peanut butter cookie.  Finally, I can fatten her up.  Next time I plan to steam some sweet potatoes and carrots, then puree them and add them to the sauce so I can slip them to Autumn.  I'll also get some whole grain pasta and substitute half the butter for canned pumpkin (Mom gave me that idea).  

What do you put in your mac'n'cheese?  Any family secrets or wacky flavors you add?

 

My Favorite Gift to Give - A Guest Post

This post was written by my dear friend Su from The Intentional Home to be published on The Conservatory.  Enjoy!

Christmas 2000 years ago changed the world; it brought hope. It changed lives. Christmas 2010 can do the same.

There are many humanitarian and Christian organizations that bring hope to those living in the poorest parts of the world. Danielle just recently wrote about one here. I've listed several organizations below, each of which has a gift catalog where you can choose a meaningful gift to give in honor of a loved one and change the life of a family around the world.

This is my favorite Christmas gift to give. This is a gift that really matters and to me celebrates the true meaning of Christmas.

So what I do is choose an item from the gift catalog and then find an ornament that represents the gift I chose. Last year I purchased ducks in honor of my sweet neighbor and wrapped up this ornament to remind her that a life was being changed this Christmas:


I wrote my neighbor a card telling her how duck eggs can feed a family year round. I shared how duck eggs and baby ducks can be sold for extra income.

I gave a girlfriend this ornament that I made out of pipe cleaners and yarn and attached a card about how sheep give milk, cheese and wool to a family in El Salvador.


Throughout the year, I am always on the look-out for ornaments (or items that can be made into ornaments) that coordinate with the gifts in the catalogs. Michael's Arts and Crafts sells many wooden shapes. I painted this chicken for a friend this year and will attach a card telling her how a chicken means more than food for a family; it means a source of income, manure for the vegetable garden, and a supply of eggs.



Check out the gift catalogs from these organizations:

Compassion International

World Vision

Samaritan's Purse

Heifer International

And my personal favorite is the gift catalog of Adoption Ministry of YWAM Ethiopia, not only because we adopting our 6 year old through them, but because NO administrative fees are deducted. 100% of your dollars are used to bring hope to widows, orphans, and families.

Through YWAM you can provide materials for a small house for one of the many poverty-stricken families in the village of Gutumuma, Ethiopia. You can provide a house for only $400 and there are no labor costs as each family and their friends provide the labor. Wow!! And a house ornament would be so easy to find.

Five fruit trees from World Vision are only $30, and there are so many glittery Christmas apples, oranges, lemon ornaments out there.

Sometimes, if I cannot find an ornament that coordinates with what I purchase from the catalog, I give an ornament with the word "hope" on it. I saw some "hope" ornaments at Walmart today for only $1.  I made this "hope" ornament by attaching a ribbon and rub on letters to a glass ornament.

Christmas is about a miracle. Miracles still happen today. And sometimes those miracles come with feathers...or have 4 feet. I want to be a part of miracles. I want to be a world changer. This is one small way to do so.

What wonderful ideas!  This has been my first guest post, and what an appropriate individual to write it.  If ever there were a woman I trusted to pray for me and listen to God on my behalf and then have the guts to tell me what she heard, it would be Su.  She taught me couponing and meaningful decorating, and she and her husband have lovingly supported us in parenting.  As she mentioned above, Su and her husband are in the process of adopting a little boy from Ethiopia to their beautiful family, and you can read more about that journey here.  I want to let my readers know that if you feel led to contribute to their adoption expenses, please email me at theconservatorygirl(at)hotmail(dot)com and I will send you her mailing address.

The Least of These

For that person that has it all, that loved one for whom you have no idea what to buy this Christmas, let me give you an idea.

A water filter: $200

 A donkey: $175

A goat or sheep: $60

10 pairs of shoes: $25

School tuition: $15/mo

"Why on earth would my (insert family member here) need a DONKEY??" you ask?  Perhaps they don't, but for a family in Ethiopia, it could be the gift that changes their lives.  Very few of us here in the US have any understanding of what true need is, though we all think we're lacking quite a lot.  The fact that I could help a widow start her own business and be able to provide for her family and feed her babies for only $100 blows my mind.  YWAM (Youth With A Mission) has a catalog of gifts here that can be given in the name of Jesus to help a family in one of the poorest countries of the world.  If you choose to give a gift in the name of a loved one, YWAM will send your loved one a card letting them know the donation was made in their name, the loved one will be blessed knowing a widow or orphan or family was helped in their honor, and you'll get a tax break.  

But most of all, a life will be changed.  Here are my favorites:

Cataract surgery for one widow: $200

A house: $400

Can you imagine?

Ear Infection

This is so cool, I just had to share it with you.  Autumn had a really congested cough, had lost her voice, and had a bad runny nose last Wednesday.  Jason wanted me to take her to the doctor, since as a child with asthma he would have serious complications once any infections reached his lungs.  Thankfully, the doctor told us Thursday that her lungs were clear, but she did have an inner ear infection along with a bad cold. She prescribed antibiotics, but I told her we didn't want to do that.  She said we could hold off on the antibiotics a day or two, but then we'd want to go ahead and put her on them if she didn't get better.  We gave her tons of water, even juice (which we never give her, but it helped her keep drinking), squeezed vitamin D caps into her water, and added powdered vitamin C.  She ate veggies loaded with garlic and we took her outside every time it was warm enough so her body could make its own vitamin D.  We never picked up the doctor's prescription.

Her annual exam was this morning, and we went after my chiropractic adjustment.  Autumn was adjusted too, since she'd been feeling ill (I love my sweet chiropractor!).  At her appointment, Autumn's nurse practitioner re-checked her ears.  She was surprised at how quickly they had cleared up, but advised us to complete the full round of antibiotics.  When I told her we had never picked them up, she was shocked.  I told her what we did, and she said she wouldn't give her own toddler antibiotics.  She was interested to hear my views on a few other things, and I shared with her what I've been hearing about the benefits of freshly milled grains, how immunizations compromise a child's immune system (which was our reason for not getting Autumn's scheduled shots today), and about the co-op we're in.  She was totally open and interested.  Which is always a relief, as I usually worry that doctors think I'm crazy and care more about outlandish natural theories than my own child's health.  I think this gal's a keeper.

Why didn't we want to give Autumn antibiotics?
1) She's only been really sick once before, it was just after getting her immunizations, and when we gave her the prescribed antibiotics, she didn't get better.
2) Antibiotics weaken the child's immune system, as well as kill off the good bacteria (probiotics) that help to keep her healthy.
3) Most children get over ear infections without antibiotics. So why not give her immune system a chance to be strengthened by kicking an infection's butt?
4) We'd rather err on the side of under-medicating, since over-medicating seems to be rampant.  Jason's pupils are permanently two different sizes because he was over-medicated as a child.

Here are some non-antibiotic ways to treat and prevent an ear infection.

I Am Thankful

I am thankful that we have friends who love the Lord. I am thankful that my husband is a wonderful father. I am thankful that my parents love the Lord.  I am thankful that my daughter is mine (for a while).  I am thankful for our dog(s)...and the friend that cares for one of them.  I am thankful for real friends who know me and love me and don't lie to me to make me feel good.  I am thankful to my creator, who loved me enough to send his only son to die a horrible death just so I could know him.  I am thankful for Christmas memories of my grandparents.  I am thankful for yummy foods that are good for me and my family.  I am thankful for the dreams my husband and I have for the future.  I am thankful for my sweet, sincere church.  I am thankful for this lovely little Texas town that is my new home.  I am thankful my husband wants me to pursue my dreams, even if that sometimes means I'm rearranging everything in our house or covering the entire bedroom with fabric scraps.  I am thankful for the way I was raised.  I am thankful that God gave me a heart that weeps for the fatherless.  I am thankful that Autumn sometimes whispers "Jesus" and always holds her hands out to pray before every meal.  I am thankful for silly internet messages that remind me that those I love so dearly and ache for are well and remember me.  I am thankful for my husband, who shows me Christ's love in his tenderness, forgiveness, and love towards me every day.

Autumn's Birthday Quilt

 I got the pattern/tutorial for the circles here.  She has several wonderful quilting tutorials, as well as many patterns on sale on Etsy.

 Sorry it's hard to read.  "with all our love, Mama and Daddy." And no, Daddy doesn't sew. ;)

It's in the dryer now.  When it comes out, the edges of the circles will all be frayed.  Yay!

A Perspective on Gifts

In this hectic time of preparing for Christmas, one of our main goals is to satisfy our gift list.  There are sales and deals and limited number items that we can scramble to get for loved ones.  There are probably times we wonder "will this be enough?" or "is this really enough to show how much I love them?"  Because it's easy to lose perspective when the commercials and mail ads and storefronts beckon us, here are some thoughts that have been rolling around in my head for a couple of weeks:

Children Don't Need More Gifts
A week ago, a mother said to me, "It's so hard; she's 4 years old now, and she wants bigger toys, and they're so expensive.  That's why I shop Black Friday deals, so I can shop all day and get her more with the money I have."  If I were that little girl, I'd rather my mom be home with me instead of out shopping for me.  Look at children in Ghana or Ukraine.  The simplest little gift - a pretty dress for a girl, a handful of pencils for a boy - can make them so happy.  Why don't our children seem as happy, even surrounded by an unwrapped mountain of gifts?  Could it be that we're heaping gifts on children, thinking it's what they need, when what they really want is us?  Would giving a child something simple, and then sitting down and playing with the child and the gift be better than buying her a huge automated talking kitchen and going to watch TV to rest?  I remember wanting something, and having to wait a really long time to get it.   Having to wait for it made it much more precious (and me much more thankful) when I finally received that thing.  We're still trying to limit the number of toys Autumn has to play with at any given time.

In Fact, No One Needs Your Gifts
Of course we don't need gifts, that's the point. Gifts are unearned, free and precious because of it.  Now, giving a new stove to a struggling family that otherwise couldn't afford to replace their broken one is giving someone something they need.  But is that who we think of first when shopping for gifts?  My gift list is always started with family and close friends, because somewhere in my mind I'm afraid they'll doubt my love if I don't give something - and something good.  What if we limited the amount we spent on friends and family who are blessed with plenty, and spent the rest of the budget on those we may not know well but who certainly have need?  An expensive gift isn't necessarily a good one.  Again, think of Ghana and Ukraine and other struggling countries.  We all have so much.   Ways to find those in need: ask your church, sponsor a child, know your neighbors, buy a goat, pray and allow the Holy Spirit to open your eyes to who is in need around you.  What if we were to all set aside money each year to give at Christmas time to a family who is trying to adopt?  (here's one) Now that's a gift!

A Reason to Give Anyway
A friend of mine taught me that the best way to give a gift is to listen and watch all year long, then give something that reminds them of a conversation almost forgotten, where they spilled their heart to you and ...and you listened and remembered.  Last year we were both struggling financially, and her gift to me was a beautiful gravy boat.  So simple.  I had said long ago that I wished I'd had one, and we usually spent Thanksgiving together, and it matched my other dishes perfectly.  She'd listened, and I felt loved.  This means you could find a set of dishes at Goodwill that reminded a friend of their grandparents' dishes, a small gift card to a shop the friend once said they'd like to visit, or a Christmas ornament commemorating a weekend you spent together much earlier in the year.  When we give this way, it shows that we not only love the person, but we KNOW them.  It shows God's love when we give this way.  Yes, His love is extravagant and He is the king of everything who give His children good gifts, but isn't the greatest gift of all to be known and yet loved?

Go and be intentional this holiday season!  And remember, if you aren't connected to The Vine, you're gonna run out of juice before long.

Random Stuff

 These are a few of my favorite ornaments.

The nativity.

 I figured out something for the wreath.  After removing all the fall stuff, I cut the big bottom limbs (Jason had trimmed off the tree before bringing it in) into smaller pieces and stuck them all into the wreath.  Then I added a string of silver bells and stuck a few glass globe ornaments in with bobby pins.  I'm satisfied.

 Yesterday I completed Bella's new bed.  Since Jason's parents brought her back to us, I've become very sensitive to "dog smell," and her old bed was falling apart and stinky.  I had a king size bed sheet set I'd snagged for $4 at Goodwill (thanks to Lori for noticing it!), and the flat sheet was much more faded than the fitted.  I quilted the top of the cover to help Her Highness bear the cedar chips I used to fill an inner bag (I made of broadcloth), and added a zipper so I can take the cover off to wash it regularly.  The cedar chips won't retain dog smell, so I can pretty much have a fresh smelling bed with every wash.

 Bella's not convinced.  Autumn loves playing in her kennel.  Hey, it's kind-of like a pack-n-play, right?  She isn't feeling too well today, so I'm trying to let her take it easy.

 Here's my new $5 voluptuous lamp for the bedside table, found at Goodwill (finally!).  What do you think? A robins egg blue drum shade?